Personally for me recent weeks of inner focus and stillness have translated into experiences that are beyond words, beyond tears, beyond gratitude. Of this I will not try to speak. However in conceptual terms, to facilitate shared understanding, I will say I am choosing to experience this through reference to the Grail and the Light of Christ within.
Whatever your framework it is time to open ourselves to the birthing of the new consciousness. Just as Mary & Joseph kept vigil over the newly born Christ, so we too must keep vigil over the birthing Christ Consciousness within.
As with all new growth there needs to be vigilance in the beginning! I was made aware of this need when after a very quiet and harmonious period I made my first tentative steps outside last night, to attend a social engagement. Full of joy, love, and a somewhat euphoric energy I went to visit some dear friends of old to celebrate these times. What could be better I asked myself!!! But then I woke up this morning feeling odd......slightly stunned.....wondering where has it all gone? Hmmm. Am I not worthy, am I not ready to hold this new reality, am I delusional, is it all in my imagination? What happened?
I take a breath, and start to look at how I'm really feeling and search the point, the moment when I went out of myself. I decide it's like learning to ride a bike, the first tentative outing held by a supporting arm, the slightly more solid ground with the stabilizers, before finally finding the perfect balance and harmony and whoosh ….....your off flying down the road !!! This too is a learning experience, a time of nurturing the seed within, of tending what is inside.
So what did happen, what took me away from the growing truth within? My first realisation was that I quite literally took a step away from my self and a step towards another, a step from inner reference to outer reference. Theoretically nothing wrong with that.....so why didn't it feel good? It didn't feel good because it was not without intention, without desire to outcome, without agenda. It was not a movement made from the wholeness and holiness of who I am. Any move towards another to complete oneself (to receive), to be recognised or accepted comes from a place of separation. That is an old pattern, an old behaviour and suddenly I realise it's not feeling good any more.
Now, there I am, already having taken a step away from self, in a social setting. Naturally I find myself in conversation with someone I haven't met before, someone who wants to know my story, to get to know me through my story. A normal social interaction we have been familiar with for so long. They wanted to be able to define me, perhaps to understand how best to interact with me – but it felt odd, strange, uncomfortable, inappropriate even. I am not my story. I bless, thank, and acknowledge my stories, they served a valuable purpose in my life to bring me to this present moment. But I can no longer be defined and interact through my story.
So it seems I must be vigilant to not allow old patterns to take over, not least of all because they simply don't feel good any more. I must nurture the seed within, tend to this new growth. I need to ask what would feed this growth, what would nourish me at this stage. I apply the vigilance I would if I were caring for a seedling - what care it takes to nurture the seedling into a mighty Oak, grounded and strong.
As we all learn to ride the bike anew, learn to navigate the practicalities, it is with vigilance, a commitment to the truth and to tending the light within that we shall grow.
Glory Be!
A SPECIAL THANK YOU
I offer special thanks, love & gratitude to Abigail, Grace & the Healing team for all the support, nurturing and nourishment I have received from our time together. Thank you, thank you, thank you. God-bless us all.
www.revealinggrace.com